Not Kidding

Because I think every child star suffers through this period because you're not the cute and charming child that you were. You start to grow, and they want to keep you little forever.

Michael Jackson

  I'm constantly saying to myself, 'I'm lucky I was born in the United States.'

Melinda Gates

We have to be careful in how we use this light shined on us.

Melinda Gates

Chaos

Wouldn't it be nice if we could truly pass on the lessons we learned when raising children to the next generation?  Suppose we did not have to watch them make the same mistakes we did.  What if we really listened to our children?  When I saw the story about a child less than two years old telling her parents that her legs felt "tight" and from that they figured out she had severe juvenile arthritis, I was reminded of the day my two year old didn't want to eat dinner.   Because he refused only one food, pureed red beets, as a baby, and continued to refuse to eat them at any time up until now, you would think I would have been immediately clued in that something was wrong.  Instead, visions of gagging on the peas I was forced to eat as a child played their persistent movie in my head.  I eventually learned to like peas despite a few mad dashes to the bathroom mid-meal to throw up in the toilet.  This change of heart was no small feat, and owed much to the disgusted look on Dad's face when I returned to the table for another try.  Such vast experience was my clue that my child was being defiant when he squirmed in his chair instead of eating the food in front of him.  Of course I gave myself the most terrible mother on the planet award later that night when the onset of tummy troubles was more evident.   Lesson learned.  But there was another lesson coming, of that I was to be assured.  

How we talk to ourselves is how we talk to our children.  In our efforts to guide them with our abundance of wisdom, parents use the voice of great authority to pass along their sage advice.  Little do we know that our words and our tone is the pattern they will use to parent their own children.  If we think we could have done a better job, it's a sad lesson to have to sit by and watch them be focused on the importance of getting the laundry folded into neat piles rather than to giggle and laugh while piling the warm clean contents of the basket upon our heads.  So proud I was of my neat job of lining all the children's books up on the shelf.  Not so proud that I got upset when my child decided it was much more interesting to see them strewn all over the floor.  Why else would they be at child's eye level than for the purpose of discovering the dizzying delight of proudly swiping them all off the shelf and throwing them all over the floor.  The twinkle in the eye turned to confusion when he realized that I did not think it was a fun game.   Instead of the wonder of discovery in their eyes, the child is treated to the parent's dismay to a degree that simply doesn't compute in a two year old brain.  So they try again, this time when you're not looking.  Same thing.  "Mom got mad again, but that sure was fun."  Not that I am advocating letting a child make a game of everything!  Respect for books was a lesson for the house, and outside play for the destructive type of fun that created loud noises and big messes.

One lesson learned is that we too often blame the kids.  It does not seem to matter if we have lost or misplaced something or are just mildly annoyed at life's latest inconvenience, the child's sudden need for something (anything from a glass of milk to dinner or a nap) becomes a perfect excuse to decide they are the problem.   How many times are the kids blamed for taking tools and not returning them?  If it was the case that they were at fault, now that the kids are gone, you would think I would be able to keep a screw driver and a tape measure handy in the kitchen drawer, but no.  With no kids at home to blame, there is no doubt who is the culprit - my husband - who does not seem to appreciate hearing that I blame him for taking off with the tool I do not have at the precise moment he requests it.  Funny how that works.  Never mind.  I know exactly where the hammer is at this moment.  The bathroom.  Don't ask.  

 15 Bean Soup

Our Lane

I think that the only way to teach is by example, 

as children will more easily follow what they 

see you do than what you tell them to do.

Gloria Estefan

Calm

Cold Lunch

Snow-topped 

Multitasking is a part of my everyday life.

Monica Denise Brown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

W.C Fields