Lessons Learned in Solitude

Ice Krispies for Breakfast
 It was going to be all about nature this week - but something came up~Thanksgiving!

Not feeling so good.

~Après-ski

The usual Thanksgiving dinner: vegetables, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey,
opps, Grandma got distracted and forgot to make the rolls.  There were olives, pickles and apple pie.   I don't think anyone missed the rolls.  

Pride is for thugs and felons.  Look at that.

So much can be accomplished when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.

Irene Bement

I suppose everyone expects me to have more great wisdom this week since last week blew you away, right?  Well, maybe one or two wouldn't mind seeing me take a good trouncing - or would be happy to help to give me one.  Story of my life, but my critics are in for a treat, (hey, I know you are out there) because it just so happens that I don't have more wisdom.  I have less.  I think it's supposed to work like that, though, so it's okay.  That means a good trouncing is out of the question, I hope.

This is the message: the more you learn the more you understand that you don't know.  Oh, you don't think that is a brilliant, life altering revelation?  I know, we've all heard it before.   I have got news for you.   I would suggest that familiarity does not make it less valuable.   I just got another look at it, saw things I should have seen it before but hadn't really embraced the lesson.  It seems clear as the mountain-tops, blue as the sky above.  Revelation can have the effect of literally silencing a person.  Has that ever happened to you?

It is a helpless feeling when you think, like I do today, that I am supposed to say something and you become aware that you know less than you did last week.   Pretty sure this blog post will be short. I just want very much to be silent.  Despite the feeling of not knowing what to say, of wanting very much to say nothing, I actually like being in this place.  It's liberating.  

With epiphany came understanding: the best thing for me to do is to quietly wait.  Feeling more than a little helpless makes me listen - and somehow conversely, I may be smarter than I used to be.  Sorrier, too, for all the times I ran into this great wall and thought I could vault over problems both minor and earth-shaking by sheer force of will despite every previous indication that my magnetic personality wasn't the answer to life and everything in the universe.  

I like how it makes me feel: humbled, of course, curiously free.  It helps me understand that I have said far too much already, and the best thing to do is say nothing; to wait.  Which I hate.  Please don't make me wait too long!  But then, it's not about me - not really.  It's about you.  A calm you; because that is an influence I am not yet ready to surrender.  

I like knowing that the best thing I can do, after my notorious calming influence, is get out of people's way.  I hope you aren't laughing.  Just ask my kids how calm I can be.  No, never mind.  Don't ask them. I have very passionate opinions about humans or snakes, but I'm eerily calm about dogs, cats, and ummm. Ants.   Anyway, what I learned in solitude is that the answer people are looking for is within their own heart.  Comparison to someone else doesn't cut the mustard, so although it's easy to say so-and-so can do this or that, just don't.  I know you will, but it's  pointless.  We're all human; flesh and blood, but we aren't all the same inside our heads or hearts.  

Hearing from me what you should do is the worst way, the most inaccurate way and the least appealing way to get the news.  I'm not your doctor.  We can't just hand out general information to our friends and they probably weren't aware we're a walking set of encyclopedias so they haven't asked, but we always have to get the basics out of the way: Did you try...etc.  

Everyone has tried the easy stuff already, trust me, they have.   Your friends aren't stupid.  At least not that stupid.  They are just waiting for the moment when it is safe to identify the real answer; the moment when it is safe to share the real answer, the hard answer, when they won't be mis-judged for their action.  You know the one I mean: the Answer that makes you dig down deep for the courage or the integrity you need - that comes when really you don't have any other option.  

This does not apply to your doctor.  Please listen to your doctor.  A second opinion (or several) is great.  Ah, come on.  Do your own research.  Everyone should have the basic care and keeping of the human body down pat, by now.  If not, get started.  ASAP.

After this insight, (thank you Solitude, Utah for being there for me) I feel like I have a better grasp on the concept that maybe someone has just been waiting for me to just get out of their way for a very long time.  They may need to feel very safe before they are ready to take the next step.  If there is anything I would like to give, it is this:  that my close friends, my family would feel safe; courage to fight the good fight, confident of my belief in their value, certain of my acceptance and understanding.  Confident and unconcerned about being questioned for their motives, character, or vision even if it isn't the way I would do it.  If I can't give good support I need to remove myself from the vicinity, because I've totally screwed up before.

Aside from that one time, even those people who do not believe in my extraordinarily brilliance, who possibly aren't hanging on my every word for any good reason (all the wonderful, brilliant, slightly or very distant people in my life who have their own bubbling or turbid well of wisdom or shame) can find their Answer, too.  A loving, silent assist; I really hope I have learned the lesson.

For having no intention of posting one thousand words, like an over-achieving cement mixer more content tumbled out than intended.  To choose timing over slicing content means it is publishing time.  This is what you get for encouraging me, sisters. I really do want to be a better listener. 

Dimmer Switch on Soft and Slow

Mr. Right.  As in "always right."   Seriously, though, he is a champ, a hero of the first order. No joking.  Mindy tells about waiting, shivering in the running pickup, heater cranking, while her Dad was working outside to thaw someone's frozen lines, or clean a sewer. More than a few customers could vouch for heroic endurance.  I don't actually hear the stories but I see what happens while I keep the home fires burning. It happens all the time during winter.  Comes in long after dark, exhausted and frozen. Takes a hot bath, eats some supper and does it all over again the next day - heading into battle against the worst of conditions because of the need, because he does not spare himself. The man deserves a medal.  And this new warm hat. 

Miserable cold.  I got it, so I know.

Simple toys are best.  When will we learn?

Fire building lesson.

Proud as Punch

Not crazy about the new phone camera -
Takes all kind of editing and fuss, but
the memories are keepers.

Okay, it does well in daylight.  More buttons to work on, maybe.

A Plug for VRBO.com ~ Swiss Chalet belonging to the Florin family, Solitude, Utah

A Plug for Wyoming -

Okay it doesn't all look like this, but have you ever noticed how magnificent the sky is?